Last night we arrived in Cancun, and we are having some serious vacation bad luck. First of all, Cancun is not that cool to begin with, and we know this. Unless you like mega resorts and nothing else to do, move right along from Cancun the second you land on the Yucatan. This has been going so badly it has turned kind of hilarious. Here is a run down of our terrible luck....
1. Traffic was terrible in Mexico City yesterday afternoon. It took us 1.5 hours to get to the airport...so we finally got there, checked in and went through security. We stopped to pick up some water for the flight, and Eric accidentally bought carbonated mineral water which...
2. Somehow got all shaken up and when I opened mine it exploded all over me and my stuff. I was soaked, and a bit mortified. So I walked around awhile to dry off, we boarded the plane, got settled in then....
3. They started turning the plane on and off. It was about 1000 degrees on board, and whenever they turned the plane off the air stopped too. We were flying Volaris airline for the first time, and they kept giving status updates in Spanish only over a microphone they probably purchased from a vendor of 1970s-era McDonalds drive-thru speakers. From what we could gather, they were having electrical problems with the plane and....
4. We were delayed for 1 hour, while sitting on the boiling hot plane. Mantengase la calma por favor... So we were finally on our way, and the plane stayed on the whole time! Whew! We landed in Cancun, collected our bags and went to get our rental car when....
5. We were informed by this ridiculous hippie who worked at the Hertz stand that there were "no more cars". We had a reservation! What is the point of that if there are no more cars? So we decided to walk, luggage and all, across the airport parking lot to the Hertz office to get the scoop. Turns out there were cars, but....
6. The car had no stereo and a hole in the floor. !! They said they would bring us a new one today, but when we asked for 9 am delivery, we were told...
7. No! If we wanted a car before 11 am, we would need to go all the way back to the airport and pick it up ourselves. Fine. So we took our silent car with a hole in the floor and set off to our hotel which...
8. Had no sign. It is not easy to get lost on Kukulkan Avenue in Cancun, but we did it. Every mega resort is equally mega branded...except ours, The Westin Resort and Spa, Cancun. Remember that name, and avoid it at all costs...because this gets even better. So we arrive at the hotel only to find....
9. There is no power! Well, there was some power...one restaurant had power and the rooms had power, but the hallways were dark and the elevators, computer system, water and phones were not working. By this time is was about 10:30 at night and we were hungry and tired, so we asked, "is there food and room service?" "Oh yes, absolutely!" (lies) "And the TV works?" "Definitely" (more lies). So we hesitantly checked in, and walked up five flights of stairs to our room, accompanied by a guy with a flashlight. We asked the guy if there was a storm or something and he said "Oh, no, it's just the hotel's bad power system." Oh. So we put our stuff down and tried to order room service...no phones. So we decided to walk down for dinner when...
10. The guy with the flashlight disappeared! It was so dark you couldn't even see your feet! So, we felt our way back down to the lobby, nearly falling down the stairs a few times, and found a restaurant with food. The food was pretty good, and we got to sit on the beach, which was nice. So we wrapped it up by 12:00 am and went in to settle our check. The computers were still down, so the guy was doing his calculations by hand when...
11. A big group of drunk locals came in and wanted their check, so the guy let them cut in front of us and helped them first! What?! I was there first!! WTF dude?? It took about a half an hour to get them all settled and out, when he finally went back to our check. So, at about 12:45 am we went to the front desk to get a guy with a flashlight and a key fob to walk us back to our room. We had no key since when we checked in the system was down, which we said to the front desk when we asked for the guy. So we get all the way up to the room and guy's like....
12. "Where's your key?" "We don't have a key." "What? I don't have a key, why didn't you say something?" "We did." "Oh." So we got to sit in the pitch back hallway for a good 20 minutes while the guy went all the way back down to get the fob, and came all the way back. So we finally got back into our room, changed into our pjs and went to brush teeth when we discovered....
13. Our bathroom had flooded. WTF?? So we called down to the front desk and they moved us to an "upgraded room", after 2 phone calls. Finally at about 2:00 am we were finally able to go to sleep. So we got up the next morning, and headed back to Hertz to get an acceptable hole-free and stereo included rental car. We get there and...
14. We get charged for the teaspoon of gas we used to get to our hotel and back to the rental car agency, and all the employees were jerks! Like, serious pretentious jerks. Eric started getting really upset, so they "threw in" a GPS, free. Well, we already had a GPS, our GPS, that we know how to use and has updated Mexican maps already uploaded, so that was not helpful. Finally we get our rental car and head out for a day at Chichen Itza! We are about 10 miles down the highway when we pass a sign that says "No gas for 156 km". We look down at the tank and....
15. It's already on empty! The Hertz jerks gave us a car with no gas, and no Pemex to been seen. !! So we went back to the Hotel Zone to get gas. By that time is was 12:30 pm, and it was too late for our adventure to Chichen Itza. We'll have to go tomorrow. And we have a whole day to spend in Cancun...yay. One plus side to being in little-USA, is the USA chain restaurants offer a little taste of home. We went to Outback Steakhouse where I enjoyed some baby back ribs...it's been a couple years since I got to have that. They were good. Finally we decided it was time to go to the beach, so we went back to the hotel, changed, and went down. We stopped to get a towel and...
16. We were told no. No towel for you without the special card. Okay, where do we get the special card? Front desk of course. That's about a half a mile away. So we go to get the special card, and it turns out they are not even scanned or anything. The guy at the desk just grabbed two off the pile and handed them to us. Why couldn't that have been done when we checked in?! So we go back to the beach, get our towels and find...
17. Swimming in the Caribbean is closed. What? It is apparently a "red flag" day, which means no one is allowed in the water. The water was clear, and the waves were high, but not Pacific-high. If I am an adult with excellent swimming skills, why can't I swim? Where is my right to self-determination???? Ugh. So instead, we took beach naps, then decided to go to dinner. We found the restaurant and saw a bunch of people eating outside, so we sit down at a table when the waiter comes and says...
18. "What are you doing? There's no service out here." "Those people are eating outside." "Yeah, but you can't. You have to go in." At this point we just stormed off and went back to the bar for dinner. Gracias a Dios that we are leaving this hell hole tomorrow.
We finally got to check out of
The Westin Spa & Hotel, Cancun (never, ever stay here, ever). The guy asked us how our stay was and we said horrible, and detailed some of the problems (other than the power outage). He just kind of nodded with a "too bad" attitude. Then we asked for our factura (the document we need from a vendor to get our sales tax back), and handed over our tax ID card which shows our employer. The guy kind of went quiet and called the manager, who came running over apologizing profusely and gave us some kind of extra reward points to make up for it. So if I had just been a regular tourist whose vacation was ruined it would just be too bad for me...but since I work where I work, it is a problem worthy of the manager? Bunch of elitists. Never stay here.
Cancun looks so deceptively gorgeous here at the public beach...Don't be fooled!!
Cancun's First Gourmet Dining All Inclusive Optional Fusion Nouvelle Cuisine?! With a description like that, who can resist??
Mmmm...ribs...
Apparently something in this area will kill pregnant women and old people. A little vague for such a serious risk, no?
Beach time...Look at that extremely dangerous surf! Good thing the hotel decided that I can't swim out there, otherwise who knows what might have happened!
